A journey back (or forward) in time..Can it be Possible?

Imagine this: You travel back in time to prevent your conception; in the most extreme example, eliminate your grandmother when she's a little tot, preventing your parents' birth; or simply, prevent your folks from ever getting together, or in today's parlance, 'hooking up' - quite effectively assuring that you do not exist in the first place to travel back in time! Sounds like science fiction doesn't it? Somewhere deep in my thoughts, i am attracted to the possibility of returning to my past; perhaps if i had the opportunity, i would correct the 'wrongs', make things 'right' - what i would consider right in my opinion.

I hurriedly jump into the spacecraft or time machine.Then, i punch in the year of my desired existence; the period in history that began to define my entry into this earth; the period i set out to straighten.After fastening my seat belt, the capsule begins to rattle violently as the journey begins. We will be cruising at speeds close to the speed of light; speeds that, if not handled carefully, can lead to utter annihilation. No, not the speeds that i am used to in a matatu every morning as i make my way to work, this contraption accelerates to speeds that slow down the entire aging process as you may know it.

My journey through the wormhole is now possibly close to completion. I can't help but feel nervous as i await that moment when i will finally feel like i have control over events in my life. I'm also suffering some indecision; what method will i use to achieve the desired effect on my life (and those of my estranged siblings)? What will be the effect of my actions? Will this have a more fortunate conclusion? Can i really play God? My brief journey finally comes to a rough and bumpy conclusion as the capsule grinds to a determinate halt. I make my way out of the vehicle and begin my journey on the streets of the newly independent capital of Kenya, Nairobi. Wow! My eyes are awe struck by the cleanliness of Nairobi city, not to mention the small number of people walking on Nairobi's streets.Without any hesitation, however, the denizens stare back, mouth agape, at me; perhaps wondering where i do my shopping. However, determined not to be side tracked into activities outside of my intended mission, i slowly make my way to the prestigious Harambee avenue, guided by stories told to me by my mother about my Dad's office at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs where he served as a senior assistant secretary.

I begin to feel an adrenaline rush inspired by thoughts about what might transpire once i knock on the door to his office. What did he look like? Will he recognize me? What will be his reaction when i tell him that i am his son whom he will abandon a couple of years into the future? Will my narrations about the challenges we faced as a family, challenges i faced as an adolescent and eventually a young man cause him to reevaluate his actions? Will he even care? Why did he leave? What happened to him after he left the family?

Sadly, i begin to realize that this is just another of my emotional lows; just another episode of me feeling helpless, abandoned, off course....another episode when i feel like the ground beneath me is about to shift exposing me to the cold, brutal side of this world. It is doubtful that there can ever be a time machine that makes it possible for one to travel back in time much less correct the wrongs made in the past. Even so, i believe all that happens in the past should serve as a vivid reminder to those who are alive today not to repeat the mistakes of their forebearers.At least, in theory, this should guarantee a better future for our descendants.In my case, this probably means that i should never abandon the children i sire, come rain or shine. I sigh. A good beginning, they say, is half the journey....If so, in this unforgiving world, where does one place all the innocent children, borne out of illicit relationships; children who experienced violent and abusive childhoods; children who faced apathy and neglect? Is there any retribution for those who hurt them? Will there be any restitution for them? Like all other unanswered questions, i leave it to God; the omniscient and omnipresent being who has all the answers. Maybe one day, just maybe, he will answer my questions!