Boda boda misbehavior

It is not in doubt that Kenya, and in particular, Nairobi is one of the most unsafe cities to drive. In fact i was surprised when Nairobi did not appear in the series "Don't drive here!", aired some months ago by one of the local television channels. Many of the so-called 'dangerous' places to drive, such as Mumbai would probably have paled in comparison to the antiques and creativity we see from motorists everyday on our patchwork of Chinese and "kazi kwa vijana" roads.

But I suppose there's no need to despair because there are probably other reasons that caused the producer of that most wonderful show not to come to Africa. And besides, we have already made our colorful name in many other famous -and rather infamous ways all over the globe.

However, while watching that show, my mind never ceased to stray and imagine just how an episode about driving in Nairobi would be like. How about starting from the lovely epidermis of our roads? What a lovely full-body massage one gets while travelling around the city! I have recently noticed that the inhabitants of the Thika Rd. environs have been getting a little grumpy lately, perhaps an upshot of the lack of the body-stimulating massages the rest of Nairobians get. Next- and this is salient- is the hordes and hordes (and i mean hordes) of dirt bikers and stuntmen who double up as messengers in motorcycles? And i bet almost every Nairobian has a pet-peeve or two about this one. Why would they? One might ask, but consider just how law abiding these guys are: always late to obey traffic lights (better late than never, huh?); massaging our ears as we walk with all manner of music; helping pedestrians flex and stretch every sinew and fiber of their being as they scamper to avoid being liquidated; no wonder they recently claimed that their female passengers were molesting them. They must have even bumped up the Chinese economy one Yuan or two because of all the motorbike purchases. 

Seriously, i do understand that the bikers on our roads need to make a living. But they also need to be mindful of other road users, motorists or otherwise. I also understand that we're all in a hurry; trying to beat that deadline; clinch that deal; even wow that date. But bikers, you have no more right to use the roads than i do. Observe traffic rules and regulations and respect other motorists lest you end up in a can of beef.

Let us not go beyond the precipice

I reproduce, for warning purposes, a response posted online by someone (i presume Kenyan) which serves as a dire warning to all about what awaits us if we lose our cool and allow politicians to manipulate us and incite us against each other. I have added nothing, other than punctuation here and there; Credits to the author.

Kenya, let me dissect for you the chronology of Rwanda in the making. When the first canon is fired, you will celebrate and bay for   their   blood. Reports will start trickling in that some enemies have been killed in Coast, Rift Valley and the shanties in Nairobi, this will turn your celebration into... a frenzy. 4 days later, the mood

will change, no longer getting the basic provisions such as food, your celebration will be cut short to attend to more urgent matters, that is, fending for yourself. 2 weeks down the line, when your energy levels have ebbed to the lowest, reports will reach you that your enemy has regrouped and is coming for your neck and that of your loved ones. You will now abandon the quest for food to that of saving your own life. International news media will show you, and your kin, carrying mattresses heading to a safe haven, most likely a church. You will reach the church and

much to your horror, find thousands of people, many from your perceived enemy tribe also camped there, fighting for the little provisions donated by the UN. That night it will rain heavily and exposed, hungry, scared and nursing a deep machete wound on your most loved one's forehead, the slow realities of   Rwanda in the making will start sinking in. If you are still surviving one month down the line, 30 kgs down from your usual weight, you will start wondering who is fighting who, since the camp is cosmopolitan and you are all fighting for basic survival not caring who comes from which tribe. But that’s just the beginning. The next day, your camp will be raided, 5 of your loved ones will be slaughtered and you will be lucky to escape with a bullet wound on your right leg. UN will now heap you into lorries and transfer you to another camp. In excruciating pain and feverish from your infected leg, the second reality of war will hit you: what the hell is the fight all about? You will die 3 days later, from neglect really since people around you are so used to seeing others die to bother about your feeble groans from your leaking tent. 4 months later, corpses, including yours, will be buried in a mass grave as the lieutenants that started the war sit at a table in some hotel in Kampala to craft another power-sharing deal. There will be relative calm as the vultures enjoy the spoils of war, the politicians will be back to their cosy offices... My point is, when the drums of war are sounded, everyone is a theoretical winner but the reality is so different a few months later. What  s more, war does not guarantee equality, it dehumanizes and traumatizes people. Every little thing you’ve worked for goes...

I will leave you with this, tribe is not your enemy, people that sit in ivory towers from all political divide and subdue you are. Change will come when you start demanding

accountability right from your county upwards. Have a blessed and b peaceful. 

Threats of Saba saba

Saba saba, the day in 1992 when the clamor for multipartyism climaxed and pushed Daniel Arap Moi's government to set in motion changes to the constitution that would allow for more than one political party. 

But the price paid that day at Kamkunji gorunds in Nairobi may never be forgotten. Blood was shed; police truncheons descended on demonstrators knees; tears and sweat flowed freely as tear gas caused a thick, hazy atmosphere; live ammunition was fired at protesters. It was not all in vain as the changes to the constitution ushered in the first ever General election in Kenya's history and eventually led to the exit of the much-maligned Moi regime. We doff our hats to the heroes of that day; Matiba, Odinga, Shikuku, Orengo et al.

Today some 20+ years after saba saba, some of the architects of this political uprising are still delirious about being in power. They have simply failed to move on. They are always in a "revolution mode," but they themselves will accept no challengers, no fresh ideas, no young turks, without an overt endorsement by them. They are simply in denial, preaching water while drinking wine. 

We were treated to a very brutish party election in February, right before "baba" left for the states to, as Miguna put it, loiter aimlessly from state to state. Let us not mince words. If the ODM party elections had progressed as intended, there would have been quite a change in leadership, young guns that would have undermined Odinga's influence in the party and eventually forced him out. He acutely knew this, so he sanctioned goons from various parts of the country to destroy the whole process, then ironically appointed a committee to investigate the whole charade. The culprits -which in this case is himself- have never been brought to book.

The writing is on the wall.

When Odinga talks about a 'political storm,' he perhaps unwittingly does not realize how close to the guillotine his neck is. What he is basically doing is throwing stones while living in a glass house. If i were UhuRuto, i wouldn't be cowed by these empty threats, rather, i would work to foment more chaos in the already disorganized bunch of clowns known as CORD. Did you realize just how chaotic the much-hyped rally at Uhuru park was? We heard nothing from the appointed second in command, not even a word of welcome for the former P.M. It was just a bunch of politicians jostling and jockeying for position...and for the microphone. Then there was the ignominious moment for the Governor of Nairobi, the senior-most Cord official in office today.

As Odinga calls for reform, political tsunami, a storm, let him also continue to ponder his own fate. Let him be careful, lest he becomes a victim of his own revolution -like some of the vanguards of the various revolutions that have happened in the past around the world.