The journey has been somewhat rough, lots of battles, lots of emotional scars...the occasional paucity of accomplishments.Indeed, this is not the first loss I have sustained in my life, certainly not the most painful: a brother or two, a father, the list continues..
But those losses are not the subject of this posting; those losses I had nothing to do with and were beyond my control. Believe it or not, this is about a female acquaintance I had been seeing on and off for the last two years or thereabouts.I never once considered myself susceptible to this kind of feeling about the opposite sex.Maybe this was because I had developed a 'numbing' of emotions; a protective shield that developed as a result of a considerable amount of loss and rejection.This 'shield' continued to separate me from normal human interactions and relationships to the point that it stifled any meaningful associations with even those who seemed genuine and weren't out to hurt my feelings or take advantage of me in any way.My own emotions created the very problem they were designed to protect me from.Quite predictably, this appeared as callousness and lack of empathy to the other party and ultimately - and quite predictably- handed the relationship a death-knell.
But where do we go from here?Should I ruminate on what is already lost and try to salvage it in a last-ditch effort?Can it ever be the same again?Could this be a precursor of an even bigger problem in my life?I don't have an answer to all this but I surely do believe this feeling will resolve itself if I take one day at a time.As the old saying goes, time is the best healer of wounds.
